


Love is sharp.

by Retro_Reactive



Category: Wuthering Heights - Emily Brontë
Genre: Don't Judge, For an assignment, Friends wanted me to post it, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-21
Updated: 2015-04-21
Packaged: 2018-03-25 02:36:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,517
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3793507
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Retro_Reactive/pseuds/Retro_Reactive
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Heathcliff and Catherine's relationship, isn't all it was cut out to be.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Love is sharp.

**Author's Note:**

> I did not create the characters. I only threw them into a different world and different scenarios and hoped that they survived. This was for my assignment in English.

It was a drug, the blade always cut through the inner turmoil, the edge sharpened to such a point that only the smallest amount of pressure needed to be added. The moment when the blood rushed to the surface and trickled down my arm was pure pleasure. Things had been taken away from me all my life, but I had finally found something that couldn't be taken away. My beautiful blade, my Heathcliff.

Even now after so many years of use the blades edge had still not dulled, its splendour had not dimmed since the moment I saw it in that display case, and to think that this treasure was found within that dusty old pawn shop, the place for junk and forgotten trinkets.

“Catherine are you done yet, you have been in the bathroom for an awfully long time”, Edgar's voice rang through he door.

My insides felt as though they were being wrung out like a wet shirt at the thought of being caught by my boyfriend. “I’m almost finished I will be out in a minute” I called back trying to keep the trepidation out of my voice. Heathcliff provided me a release and my fear of that being taken away always had me on edge.

Edgar and I had been going out for a total of five weeks, but I had being staying with him and his sister for much longer. Edgar, although a coward, was sweet and generous, a man any women today would want, but he could never give me the thrill or excitement that Heathcliff could.

The blade had relieved my pain since my parents died and my brother became a drunken slob, gambling and whoring all the money that was given to him away, of course I wasn't allowed to touch my share and now I never would, even that had gone towards his addiction.

I don’t care anymore, Hindley can have his addiction, so I can have mine. It was harder everyday to hide it though, Edgar was becoming more and more suspicious, his attentive nature and obsession with me was starting to become a hindrance.

The sound of a door closing brought me out of my reverie, standing up my eyes travelled down to the blade to see my blood running down over the nickel silver guard to the rosewood handle only for it to stop and move into the grooves of the engraving Heathcliff before continuing on, the red contrasted greatly with he shining silver along the curved edge of the carbon steel. This Bowie knife was truly a masterpiece, and it is all mine.

Reaching down I pulled the plug making sure to never let go of the blade. The handle seemed to fit perfectly in my hand. I would never part with the blade, I swore to myself, it would always be with me; I had yet to break that promise.

I stepped out of the bath and onto the mat, I could never savour the moment after I finished, I always had to rush so the blood didn’t drip onto the floor or stain anything, reaching into the top draw I pulled out a fresh bandage to cover the news marks to add to my scars, people say scars are ugly, but when I look at them I remember the beautiful truth, I have something to take away my pain, I am therefore never alone.

After the bandage was on and the ends were secured. I bought my eyes back to the blade in my hand. I had to clean it, although the sight of blood on the blade was alluring I wouldn’t take the chance of the blood drying and marring the pristine surface of blade and handle.

I turned the water on making sure it was cold, I heard that hot water could dull the blade, and although I didn’t know for sure I would not risk it. I ran my thumb up and down the blade to get of any speck of the blood the water had missed. Using my old toothbrush that I kept hidden so it wouldn’t get thrown away, I scrubbed of the blood on the handle paying extra attention to make sure got everything out of the engraving.

Once I finished I used the towel to dry the blade then slipped it into the leather sheath. I put the blade back down on the bench, making sure the sheath did’t get dirty.

“Cathy hurry up we are going to be late for school” Isabella’s voice rang through the door.

“I am almost done” I called back then to prove my statement true I began to get changed into my uniform. I didn’t bother drying my hair instead I left it alone, just flicking it over my shoulder so that it cascaded in wet, tangled waves down my back. I slipped on my jacket, thankful that it always rained so people wouldn’t question me and strapped the blade to my thigh. Turning around I opened the door and ran down the stairs, taking them two at a time.

I got to the bottom just as Edgar opened the door, and rushed over to join them, Edgar flung his arm over my shoulder and Isabella started talking excitably about the new school year.

I knew what I was doing wasn’t healthy, but it is not like I am ashamed of my scars, I just didn’t want people to start asking questions, if they did they would take Heathcliff away, if that happened then there would be nothing I could do about it. Not for the first time I began to wonder if my obsession should stop, if I should tell someone so that they could help me.

I loved Heathcliff, and the comforting familiar weight against my thigh gave me the answer I needed.

No.

##################################

The arrival at school was like any other, kids milled around gravitating to their designated group, never to leave until school was over. Edgar threw his arm over my shoulder and pulled me into his body.

People said it was sweet that he showed his affection for me so openly, but I knew better. This was a sign of possessiveness, a clear indication to everyone that I was his. I thanked whatever god was out there for watching out for me, since the blade was on my left thigh and away from Edgar.

What I wouldn’t give to just be alone with my blade, but I couldn’t, appearances had to be kept. 

As we made our way to the double glass doors that separated the outside of the school from the inside we were greeted by just about every student in the courtyard. Edgar was the most popular boy in school, any girl would jump at the chance to be in my position, but when I was with him all I felt was empty.

The status quo dictated that I go out with him, we were considered the perfect couple, the gorgeous outsider and the popular trendsetter, it was a romance from a story.

But Edgar was so dull.

We soon reached the doors, and Edgar jumped forward to get the door for me.

“Thank you Edgar” I spoke cordially to him, he had no need to treat me like a fragile doll, I could have gotten the door for myself, but I would never say that, not when there was someone watching, there always seemed to be someone watching.

This is why I loved Heathcliff, it never expected anything from me and with it I knew I wasn’t made out of porcelain.

The bell rung, shortening the amount of time I had to stand around, surrounded by these people staring and judging me.

“See you later, babe,” Edgar said as he turned to me and leant in for a kiss.

“See you,” I replied turing my head to the left so that he would miss his designated target; my lips.

He pulled away with a slightly hurt expression on his face, I gave him a small smile to soothe his now bruised ego. The slight twitching of my lips into a smile seemed to appease him because he turned around with a final wave and ran to his classroom at the other end of school. He was a senior after all.

I turned and began to walk back the way I had come, turning left at the second hallway, what I saw at the back entrance made my blood run cold.

I hoped what I saw was wrong and rushed to class taking a seat at my desk the blood rushing through my ears.

The teacher walked into the class, and began calling the roll. I zoned out until I heard the words that confirmed my fears.

“Because of the recent rise in violence at schools, by this time next week the newly installed metal detectors will be operational. Anyone found with a weapon, will have it confiscated and will face immediate expulsion” The teacher's voice rang in my ears like a death sentence.

I was wrong, God hates me after all.


End file.
